It was a difficult year for me but finally I have decided, I’m letting you go.
When you first met me, I was downright broken. My heart still half shattered to pieces but you came and I believed again to the power of what love can do. I was happy again.
The walls I’ve build collapsed when I first saw you at that time outside the cinema waiting for me and wearing that beautiful smile I fell hard for. I don’t know what power you have but you got me falling from that day onward. You were the first guy who cooked for me during dates. With you I was comfortable, I felt secure, and the butterflies in my stomach won’t stop when you’re around. You used to call me “love” and i loved hearing it.
I loved those lazy afternoons we spend in your house just hanging out, watching TV, talking random stuff about our future.I especially loved kissing you. It was just chill and we did not pressure each other, I liked that. During my off from work, I was always excited because it meant we can finally have “us” time. Stress from work didn’t matter because I have you.
But then things changed. You got cold. It started after our first date after the new year. I was confused. I was afraid to loose you but you were not responding to my efforts. I tried to give you space, but I can’t contain myself. I didn’t want to be clingy but I was afraid to loose you. I didn’t want you to leave but you did. You promised to explain everything when the time was right but unfortunately that time never came.
I was hurt and back to where I started ,picking up the pieces once again. What hurt the most was hearing rumors about you, they said you never really loved me. You just liked the idea of me and you but never us. It hurt so bad that I was not able to stop myself to cry in a public mall just thinking of you.
Fate was unfair to me. I messaged you for the last time pouring my heart out, telling you to at least say something to me but you never replied. You never really cared. I was just some random and gullible chick you met I guess.
Despite what happened, I’ve forgiven you. I loved you but you were not sure about me. Never sure about me. If you ever read this I want you to know, I don’t hate you. I’m just letting you go because I realized for the 2nd time that I deserve better. Maybe I was just lonely and you were there or maybe it was genuine but you were not ready for me.
I’m sorry but thank you Rod. Maybe we were just meant for other things and other people.