I miss my best friend


I have a guy best friend and I consider him my awesome best friend. We became close during college, it started with him having a crush on me which eventually led to us being close friends instead. He was the opposite version of me. I was the quiet and shy type while he was the loud and confident one. Many would always tease us that we should be together as boyfriend-girlfriend instead of being best friends. We’re both very different in a lot of aspects and so it was weird for others to foresee how we get along really well. He would call in special occasions, we are together most of the time, we text each other randomly with things like “i miss you, what are you doing?” or just smileys or jokes or nonsense stuff he would even send me messages telling me he loves me but it was normal stuff for us and nothing awkward about it. People who don’t know us would always think he’s my boyfriend because of the way we act in public even in social networks. When I had the worst heart break ever(to a guy he never really liked for me), he was there. It was a difficult time for me, yet he was there beside me most of the time just quiet yet despite the silence I felt comfort from the warmth of his presence. He’d call me his amazing best friend, I’d call him my awesome best friend.

To cut the long story short, things are not the same between us as it was before. It started when we had very different schedules and he became busy. Specifically when he became a senior college student while me, I’m still a junior in college. We had different priorities although we still try to spend time updating with each other, it was never enough. It gotten worse when he met this new girl and new set of friends as well. Although I can’t blame him for having a lot of friends because many would want to be his friend. There’s just something about him that makes people in vibe with him. He has this very attractive personality and people would just love to be around him unlike me, I tend to be really shy in the presence of new people.

I was never really intimidated about this trait of him not until now. I admit, I get jealous because he is able to spend more time with these people especially with this new girl whom he admitted to me he really like a lot. I feel as if the distance is increasing between us. During my last birthday, he wasn’t there although he sent me a greeting message and said he was from his night duty in the hospital that’s why his greeting was quite late in the evening,  I tried to understand but still I was quite disappointed.


I feel as if I’m loosing my awesome best friend. I wanted to talk to him about it but I feel as if he doesn’t care that much anymore about me. The last time we met, he knew that I have no one with me but he asked if he could go ahead early and I knew then where he was going (I saw the girl’s text). I don’t talk to him that much anymore but he’s being blind about the cold treatment I’m giving him. It breaks my heart knowing that I don’t have that special place in his heart anymore. He doesn’t forget but the way he treats me is just so different or am I assuming too much? I was used to being the only girl he spends time with, cares for, and do most random crazy stuff with. As his best friend I should be supportive to him and his relationship with this others especially with this girl.

I should be happy for him and accept the fact that things have changed between us. We can never be the way we were before.Image


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